solitude hurts? are you a loner?

The world today is running away from what is known as loneliness. They are scared of being alone. They complain that no one's listening. They put the good old words "Man came to this world alone, they go back alone" in banner. They contradict themselves many a times. Somehow I got a feel that many are confused about how they feel. 

So my questions are:

 

1.] Are you scared of Solitude?

2.] Have you felt or feel loneliness?

Keep the answer in mind before reading further. You don't have to publish those answers, its just for clarity of thought before the lecture :-) So now that you have asked yourself these questions and have got the answer, lets see what I have to say. Before I start let me confess : many words stated below [or the idea] are taken from publications, reference journals, and philosophical or medical websites. 

If you thought whats the difference between Solitude and Loneliness, these words are for you. The two terms are often used interchangeably. Externally, solitude and loneliness look a lot alike. Both are characterized by solitariness. But all resemblance ends at the surface. Loneliness is a negative state, marked by a sense of isolation. Solitude is the state of being alone without being lonely. It is a positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself. Solitude is something you choose. Loneliness is imposed on you by others. Solitude restores body and mind. Loneliness depletes them.

Lets look at both the terms from a wider angle.

Solitude is a state of seclusion or isolation, i.e. lack of contact with people or love. People may seek physical seclusion to remove distractions and make it easier to concentrate, reflect, or meditate.Emotional isolation is a term used to describe a state of isolation where the individual is emotionally isolated, but may have a well functioning social network.

Loneliness is a feeling where people experience a powerful surge of emptiness and Solitude. In their growth as individuals, humans start a separation process at birth, which continues with growing independence towards adulthood. To experience loneliness, however, can be to feel overwhelmed by an unbearable feeling of separateness at a profound level. This could give birth to feelings of abandonment, rejection, depression, insecurity, anxiety, hopelessness, unworthiness, meaninglessness, and resentment. If these feelings are prolonged they may  prevent the affected individual from developing healthy relationships and lifestyles. Loneliness in many a times a temporary consequence of divorce or the breakup or loss of any important long-term relationship. 

Loneliness can be summarized as falling into these categories:

Situational / circumstantial - loss of a relationship, move to a new city

Developmental - a need for intimacy balanced by a need for individualism

Internal - often including feelings of low self-esteem and vulnerability

Loneliness can evoke feelings of that 'everyone else' has friends, or that one is socially inadequate and socially unskilled. A lonely person may become convinced there is something wrong with him, or that no one understands his situation. Such a person may feel reluctant to attempt to change or to try new things. In extreme cases, a person may feel a sense of emptiness, which may become a state of clinical depression.

Now that you know the difference between Solitude and Loneliness, the cause of the emotion and the effect, ask those two questions again. I just wish your answer for the first and the second is NO. If its Yes, just realize the fact that your smile and your tears are a reflection of your strength and your fears! Know yourself and you would be happy.

Keshi, if you read this, know that I miss you. This blogger world miss you. Dont take too much time. Come back soon.