Monday, March 16, 2009

shattered



tears, tiny droplets of unnamed emotions
purest form of love, hatred and fear,
reflection of my mind, my inner soul
wash me from my anguish, make me pure.

love was never a game, oh unknown
my life and roles in it made it one!
the hurdles seemed so long, I endured
the mission, the changing rules, failed me win.

levels changed and so did the game
survival became the name of my aims!
alone, not lonely I played the game
memories of forgotten fuelled my life.

moving on, I knew what's on my way
yet you made me choke, oh love long gone,
you said you knew me in and out
yet failed to know my tears for you!

the game console blinked, one last message
the dire choice " Game Over. Play Again? "
tears, tiny droplets of unnamed emotions
wash me from my anguish, make me pure.

122 comments:

WarmSunshine said...

Awwww....


hey i'm the first to comment... yaay!!!

:D

sawan said...

yeah u r, u r :)and only bcos of ur mom :P so thnx to ur mom :P

karmanna said...

mixed reaction ...confused ...

do i have to put out a smiling smiley to appreciate the poetry or a sad sad one for the 'feel' i have when i went through the poem...

exact feel... i have gone through the game of love & betrayal many times ;)

sawan ... u r unique !!!!!
(r u a palakkadan?? )

the pink orchid said...

your tears tiny droplets of pain,
may they drop on my palm,
they are too precious to taste the soil.
May it doesnt hurt you anymore,
as much as a lost game does.
May you find yourself again.
and a wish, if anything ever leaves you,
then be it the tears - tiny droplets of your pain.

~lovely poem~

sawan said...

Karmanna, :) mixed emotions is how it is, so i dont wonderf for ur mixed reaction :P u cud put any smiley. the tears have dried so it wudn pain more :P

yes yes yes, i am a palakkadan, ex-bharathamatha, ex-victoria :)

sawan said...

Kajal, thts so swt of ya. luv ya. muah.. i wud seriously consider the deal now :P

Mithe said...

I loved the allegory in it Anil
The last lines were really powerful!

Pallav said...

See might be u wont like my comment but i wud like to ask some question...
1. does Happines and sadness goes hand in hand or like the parity of coin.
Tell me what do you think.

Words are phenomenon and keep on building thoughtsss.

nicely pen down
Cheers:)

aqua gurl said...

awww....game over? try again:D

Cяystal said...

**the game console blinked, one last message
the dire choice " Game Over. Play Again? "
tears, tiny droplets of unnamed emotions
wash me from my anguish, make me pure.

I realy admire the depth in the starting two lines. Intense !

SMRITI said...

Its March and looks like the lovey dovey feelings went out as February ended...case for tragic optimism now ... Like Val says "game over? try again :D"

I agree... :) By the way, Loved hw u put it
"the game console blinked, one last message
the dire choice " Game Over. Play Again? "

Really nicely done :)

sttutts said...

wow........ what emotions.what depth............
but i felt a liberal blueness in it...... is there anything wrong? coz wenever i see sum1 up wid sumthing lik this, probably something is wrong.........

sawan said...

mithe, thnx dear :)

sawan said...

Pallav, there is no reason why i shouldnt like your comment. appreciate it that you took the time to go through my emotions. welcome here. i believe happiness and sadness are abstract ideas which deal directly with your expectations from life. Yes, there would be times when both act like sides of a coin. when a sad incident is expected, it reduces the sadness and at times you cry and smile simultaneously. its weird but there are times when you have no control over you emotions. after all we are but human.

sawan said...

aqua girl, wish it was so easy :)

sawan said...

Aayushi, thnx a lot dear :)

sawan said...

smriti, thnx grl :) its about a long lost relationship! so maybe "march" doesnt have much significance here :)

sawan said...

stuti, thnx girl. lol, yeah there sure was something wrong. some thing which went wrong quite some time back :) memories are to be blamed :) m fine now, thnx :)

sttutts said...

still the past keeps springing up in u?........

sawan said...

stuti, yes :)memories cant be avoided! not always :)

Scrawler said...

@karmanna...u mean to say that 'palakkadans' are unique??i mean...me&sawan? ;-)

sawan...are u alright??

Vinnie said...

Sawan saar...reflecting upon the past, ah? u've brought it out well, man
do give this a thought too - its better not to feel the 'other' couldnt see ur tears even though 'they' knew u in n out... 'reality' is again just another perception, aint it?
'Love' can be forgiven that much na...besides u have evolved into a 'philosopher' rather i can relate to - main shayar tho nahi...magar tujko milke..shayari a gayi...hope these r ight lines:)

P.S: i really love ur new shelf 'know India n Kerala thru DVD's'..u r a true INIDAN :)
btw, have u started DVD side business ???? :)

Pallav said...

Sawan... taken ur words..yes thts true wen we know abt the probabality of furture yes it become less painful as well as strengthen us...

Pallav said...

and that is why i hv asked the question from...
if you see the other side, u will find, every incidence taught u something and we as a human, analyse where we were wrong and how we can improve us and restrict us for not commiting the same mistake in future...

thanks for reply n dropping by..

sawan said...

Chechi, I am fine, thnx.. and yeah, palakkadans are unique, aint we? :P

sawan said...

vinnie darlin, well talk some time wen i see u online. maybe there i cud giv a better reoky to ur comment :P

and no, i din open a dvd business :P selected these dvds cos ter are many international visitors, let them know more about our culture - somthing which the daily news papers dsnt give them :)

sawan said...

Pallav, thnx for ur words. but trust me, i dnt believe i did anything wrong. or for that matter , i dnt believe any one would want to think that they did some thing wrong. wen ever we does something, we do it with our conscious - right or wrong are not something which should be branded after the incident occurs. yes, we learn a lot. but there is no concept of repeating our mistakes cos we never commit mistakes, we experiment with our life :)

the pink orchid said...

@Sawan: oh yeah :D

swati said...

wen it isn't a game thn how can it be over??
i could again sense blue here..
i dnt have wrds to cheer u up..bt will still say tat cheer up man!
love isn't a game bt life is..
n it was beautiflly writeen..:)

sawan said...

kajal, yeah yeah :P

sawan said...

swati, i said love aint a game but my life made it one :)

m fine swati, thnx.. it was written in one of those moments when u really need to vent out ur worries :P thnx again :)

Margaret said...

This is beautifully written.
I love the choice of words you used and the depth.
Life can sometimes be like a game, and love is part of that game.
It's not a game that we always win, there has to be losers in every game, someone has to suffer. But life goes on just like a new game can begin when the old one is over....

Loved reading it over a few times...

shal said...

u are an ass...

sawan said...

Margaret, thnx for your words :) happy that u liked it.

sawan said...

shal, its not easy to understand and accept the perceptions of another individual. its tougher to imagine the situations which provoked their actions. thnx for the visit.

karmanna said...

@sawan .. nice to meet a fellow palakkadan ;)

@ scrawler ...manasilullathu paranju ;) ( ya.. u both r unique !! )

Preetilata【ツ】 said...

really really a very powerful and beautiful poem. loved it. ur poetries also r very beautiful along with ur other write-ups.

write more poetries. i love reading them

sawan said...

karmanna, i still dnt know ur name :)

sawan said...

preetzi, thnx a lot dear. hwz ya?

Kumiththa said...

''you said you knew me in and out
yet failed to know my tears for you!''

Very nice lines and beautifully written poem. congrats!

Pretty Me!! said...

love was nver a game !!

sigh!!
this phrase touched me :)

RachelW said...

There's lots in this one to admire. Nicely done.

Saranya said...

Awwww, very nice but emotional!
"tears, tiny droplets of unnamed emotions
wash me from my anguish, make me pure"
Liked the poem :) really touching!

Traveller said...

പോവാന്‍ പറയടോ.... നമ്മളെ വേണ്ടാത്തവരെ നമുക്കെന്തിനാ?

Scrawler said...

@ha ha...u still don't know karmanna's name??

for all official purpose he is known as 'karmanna"

Arti Honrao said...

Beautifully written!

tears, tiny droplets of unnamed emotions
purest form of love, hatred and fear,
reflection of my mind, my inner soul
wash me from my anguish, make me pure.


Nice!



GBU
Arti

Scrawler said...

@karmanna...there is one more palakkadan blogger..he is also unique! isn't it?you forgot him :-(

sawan said...

Kumiththa, thnx dear :)

sawan said...

Pratzi, m sorry if that disturbed you. was quite disturbed myself wen i wrote this :(

sawan said...

Rachel, its such an honor to hear that from you. thnx :)

sawan said...

saranya, thnx dear :)

sawan said...

Traveller, logical allatha oru abstract feeling aane sneham ennullathanallo nammale palappozhum vishamathilaakkunnathe.. materialisticaya ee lokathe ingane oru feeling enkilum vende namme chila feelingsine kuriche ormappeduthan? athonde chilappozhikke i am enjoyin this pain :)

sawan said...

chechi, keep aside his official name. wuts the real one?

sawan said...

Arti, thnx a lot dear. such words coming from u is real honor :)

bondgal_rulz said...

BEAUTIFUL is the word. :)

It is when "love" is played like a game, that it hurts the most.

swati said...

i can understand dear..anyways well written..

sawan said...

isha, thnx dear. maybe thats true, but what if its not in our hand to decide whether it is played as a game or not?

sawan said...

swati, thnx for understanding dear :) lv ya.

bondgal_rulz said...

Well in that case, just thank god that you came face to face with the inconvenient truth before it was too late.

sawan said...

isha, :) thats the most practical answer i hrd over here! thnx for that.

isha, sometimes you remain prepared to face what you fear the most. yet related events would bring you shock later in ur life. not that it matters any more, but a shock is shock, aint it? :)

bondgal_rulz said...

It most certainly is Sawan. But the important thing here is to take it in your stride and learn from it.

You've all the right in the world to be in a state of shock as that is a part and process of getting over it. But at the same time you also need to realise that if things are the way they are, it probably wasn't worth it. I know all this is easier said than done, but you will have to make an effort.

sawan said...

the effort was made long back isha. its just that something happened in between which brought back the memories. at times you just fail to fake that smile :)lessons learned could only help you be prepared, it never prevents "events" from happening :)

it seems wonderful interacting with ya. thnx for being here :)

bondgal_rulz said...

A friend once said "Do not let the events in life define who you are. Let who you are define the events in your life."

All I can say and hope is that this phase passes as soon as possible so you no longer have to fake a smile.

And the feelings are mutual.

Cheers.

Dhanya said...

man.. u have a way with words... just lovely ! or as one might say in malayalam.. 'adipoli' :D

Ria said...

wonderfully written buddy!! :) the last few lines were really powerful!

karmanna said...

sawan ... i love to be called .. karmanna..
even though i have no quality of 'arjuna' the great karma warrior...

@durga, ya.. i hope u r mentioning about great palakkadan .. prashanth menon .. he is class above... great personality :)

Scrawler said...

..and u have krishna beside you!!

karmanna said...

@ Scrawler ..

:)) yeh!!!

sawan said...

Isha, who ever said that has seen life much more than what Ive seen. I am learning and I would be there some day :) thnx :)

sawan said...

dhanya, thanx dear :) nanniyunde nanniyunde :P

sawan said...

Ria, thnx dear :)

sawan said...

karmanna, alrite, so i wud not ask for anotr name now :P

Vinnie said...

Sawan saar, no need to reply thru chat-vat now..from ur comments i made out what happened..such is life i guess!
am happy that 'rude' shocks r common these days:) i thought i was the only one! Take Care:)

why have u put 'Advani for PM' ?

A Poetess said...

[the game console blinked, one last message
the dire choice " Game Over. Play Again? "
tears, tiny droplets of unnamed emotions]

nice lines there..but the rest of the poem seemed controlled to me...less of emotions and more of a need to 'write' a poetry..i might me wrong but am just airing my opinion!!
those lines above are brilliant and carries the poem through.
cheers!

nefariousoutlook said...

very very well written!!

Kartz said...

Emotively beautiful lines, bro'...

Peace. Be well.

sawan said...

vinnie darlin :) yeah such is life, lol.. 'advani for pm' cos bjp payed google to put their ads and since my page has the tag "politics" google automatically put this ad :) tomorow if congress pays google, u may see "rahul for pm" :P

sawan said...

poetess, thnx for your views. you may be true on the "controlled" part. when you are really shattered, words come out on a controlled tone, not cos its written for the need to write, but cos you dnt want to hurt urself with overwhelming emotions. m sure you could understand what i wanted to convey :)thnx again for ur words. u take care :)

sawan said...

nefariousoutlook, thnx :)

sawan said...

kartz, thnx bro :)

everything burns... said...

after 80 comments i don't think i need to mention how wonderful the poem is...

CrazyHeart said...

hey same feeling yaar right now..

sawan said...

jahnabi, no one could convey what you have to say dear. thnx a lot :)

sawan said...

CrazyHeart, talk to me, m sure i cud help you recover :) ive hrd enuf that i cud be a good counselor, trust me :)

Sneha said...

Beautiful and powerful words.:)

Amrita~Ams said...

I m feeling dumbo types..
i read it twice u get the gist..
still cnfuse..

Scattered Thoughts... said...

technical poem... huh?? game console.. :) hope its one of your regular fits which you get now and then when thinking about so many things at once and you are alright..

sawan said...

sneha, thnx dear :)

sawan said...

amrita, oo, its better u dnt get the gist :) it was written over a sudden rush of sad feelings caused due to some memories :)

sawan said...

maheep, bro, yeah yeah.. how cud i be sad wen some one is having a blast out there?? wen r u inviting me to rajastan? :P

A Poetess said...

Yes, i quite understand sawan.

sawan said...

poetess, m glad u did :)

athi said...

hmm... love equates to pain!! always does!!

sawan said...

athi, why do we still love to be loved? :)

Scattered Thoughts... said...

ha ha.. good one.. the date is not fixed but whenever it is, be prepared to come.. I am not gonna listen any bullshit excuse at that time.. Poetess asked once to sponsor the gang meet.. so here it goes :P See what a grand sacrifice I am doing for this gang meet :D

Ankita Agrawal said...

The more i read ur poem,the more i find some new emotion in it every time!
its lovely and intense :-)

www.enchantinganki.wordpress.com

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

Good one....
Love is never a game...
but few do believe so...
its their philosophy..we cant help it..

Renu M said...

i was reading through ur poem and comments...and i am like... for the poem: too gooood...for the comments and replies... Oh My God...hats off to ur patience....Good Sawan....I have no other words....

sawan said...

Maheep, sacrifice?? good that Neha hasnt been here till date!
okies, so i need to find out the enchanting places of rajastan for the visit :) help me, wnt u?:P

Scattered Thoughts... said...

oh yeah.. I will.. let the date finalized and we will plan.. and yeah Neha isnt here so I am safe :))

Scattered Thoughts... said...

yoooo.. 100th comment is mine.. :)

Cяystal said...

Hello! How you?
Update please :(

sawan said...

Ankita, the beauty of words inscribed lies in how the reader analyzes it. so if u find it beautiful, its cos ur thoughts are beautiful :) thnx for your inspiring words :)

sawan said...

mahesh, welcome here bro and thnx for your words :)

sawan said...

renu, thts so sweet of ya. thnx a lot dear :)

sawan said...

maheep, if its in june , then it wud be like triple bonanza : ur marg, hopefully chechi's book release and the most special one : my birthday :P lol
i am all eyes.. rajastaaaan, here i comeeeeeee :P

sawan said...

100!!!! thats the first time here :P congratz to me :P

sawan said...

aayu dear, m so glad u asked that :) m wonderful, busy at work.. hwz ya? cya online tomorrow or day after. u take care. *hugs*

Gauri Mathur said...

Lovely!

Little Girl Lost said...

sawan,
no manager would have fallen off her seat laughing at a situational disaster like that :)
thanks for visiting... i missed your comments... have you read my precious posts? esp the '25' tag?
loved your poem:)

sawan said...

Gauri, thnx for being here :)

sawan said...

LGL, sorry dear. wud read all of them during this weekend, promise :)

Little Girl Lost said...

like the book??! it frightened the friggin lifelights out of me... men are rubber bands and they have a secret cave with a dragon at the gate, and when they are in the cave i better not try to follow or i'm toast????!!!!

man i seriously considerd changing my sexuality for a couple of days :)

sawan said...

hehe lol, only for couple of days?? :P

i seriously think most of what is written in that is true :) though u dnt have to see men as beasts :P

Senorita said...

@ Sawan...beautiful one...

enna saare ellam sukham alle ??

sawan said...

Seno, thnx dear.
o m g.. u lrnt it!!! :P wow..
sukham thanne madam.. thankalkkum sukham thanneyenne viswasichotte? :P

sigma said...

hhmm... daz quite a shattering one... :( but vey well written Anil :-)

sawan said...

sigma, thnx swthrt :) depression many a times gifts beautiful words :D

Raisa said...

Very expressive !!! Just few words but the best one !!!

sawan said...

thnx Raisa :)

sujana said...

the game console blinked, one last message, the dire choice " Game Over. Play Again? "

i wud say, yeah u can.....

sawan said...

i wish i can :)thnx swts :)