Yesterday, Today, Tomorow

yesterday is a dream we survived.

tomorow is a dream we anticipate.

today is a struggle to forget how we survived

or to anticipate the best.

where exactly does 'enjoy your presence' fit in?

I wish each and every one of you a very Happy New Year. Enjoy your days, dream, and walk towards your dream. Have loads and loads of fun. Keep your family and friends together. Smile. Love.

hope

A Poetess has moved from here to here

darkness surround me.
the chillness in wind freeze my blood.
stars appear as tiny dots. far away. faded.
i search for the moon, the frame of the building blocks my view. no hope.
i stand with my eyes open. i dont see light.
i shiver, not sure if its the cold or the fear.

i closed my eyes and listen.
fluttering of leaves - there is air to breathe.
a faint voice of laughter - far away i hear life.
the calmness was broken by the screeching of wheels -
few metres away, a train crossed the bridge.
i could hear it gaining momentum, carying hundreds towards their destiny.
hundreds who chose to fight their fear for their goals. hope.
i stand with my eyes closed. i see light.
i shiver, now sure that its the cold.

i opened my eyes. nothing has changed except that now I smile.

domain name dilemma

[ Happy Birthday Freya]

guys, i bought a new domain name. yes, i plan to host a site!! i understand that laughing is good for health, but not this much alright? so hold ur laugh and listen. i wanted to change the domain name of my blog and make it a lil more personal. i bought a domain name "anilsawan.in". Then i created a sub domain "blog.anilsawan.in" [inspired by Freya] and then i face reality :) its not easy. problems i faced:

[1] Google needs one host name to be pointed to 4 IP addresses [it uses round robin method for data read/write]. My domain solution is offered by Rediff which allowed me to give 2 IPs for the same host name - not more than that. How ever, my blog worked with 2 IPs, so i guess the other two are for redundancy purpose.

[2] The old feed doesnt work any more. So you have to create a new feed and update the link where ever needed.

[3] Your subscription count gets reset to zero [it takes data from the feed]

[4] You may lose any of your loyal visitors who frequently visit your blog, if they are not informed about this change. Reason? The blog doesnt get updated in any of the place were it should cos book marking is done through feeds!

[5] You will lose your Google Page ranking, which solely depends on your blog's url.

[6] The new url would take hell lot of time to get to google search pages. [Currently, a google search of "Anil Sawan" gives my blog url as one of the top three results]

[7] If you have any pages bookmarked in social bookmarking websites, then those links will now be considered as invalid links.

[8] If you have been linked by any other blogs with your present blog's address, those links would also be considered invalid!

Bad aint it? So what do I do? I roll back to by blogger address :)

But the plan to host a sit remain. So do the domain name :)

Alrite now, laugh.

know how u deal with stress

If you could save a relationship by knowing each other better, accepting the differences, giving it some more time, then do it. This post share some ideas about the thought processe of men and women, which I agree upon. I might write more about relationships in future depending upon the response to this post. Most of the relationships break when the partners are under stress. Have you ever wondered how differently men and women approach stress?

Under stress, to maintain his control, a man needs to analyze objectively how his actions are responsible for what happened and realize what he can do to change things. To understand how he is responsible, he first needs to review the situation.He becomes very alert and attendive on what happened around him and thus he would determine what he did that led to the problem.His objectivity can then be put to determining what he can do to solve the problem. In this way he can begin to understand and accept responsibility for his part in creating what happened.

Unlike a man, a woman under stress needs to center herself through exploring her feelings. She can then figure out what happened, why it happened and what should be done about it. If a woman feels and understand her emotions, then her thinking would be open, flexible and clear.

Men face stress objectively, Women faces it subjectively. When a man reacts to stress from his feminine emotional side, he tends to loose his positive attitudes. His negative emotions may make him destructive, moody and self-centered. Negative emotions are not bad. They are part of healing or de-stressing. But when a man experiences his negative emotions and has lost his objectivity, his emotions become mean, threatening and unloving. This is his dark side.This is not to say that men should not be emotional. It is saying that when a man under stress gets into his feelings before he has established an objective perspective, then his emotions will tend to be unloving or destructive. He looses control because by indulging in his emotions he has disconnected himself from his primary source of power - his ability to be objective.

A woman, on the other hand, doesnt necessarily loose her positive feelings when she becomes angry. She can be angry and still have the ability to hear and understand another person's point of view. Being more subjective, women frist need to react emotionally and then they are able to view a situation more objectively. If she becomes too analytical or objective without considering her subjective feelings, she may become opinionated, confused, demanding, negative and frustrated. This is the dark side of a woman.

When a woman is emotionally upset but denies or suppresses her feelings in an attempt to be logical or rational, she is bound to experience many arguments with men. At such times, her statements will be rigid and opinionated. This is not only offensive to men, but also threatening. It tells him there is no room for his ideas to be true and that his differing point of view is not being appreciated. While she thinks she is making sense to him, he becomes angry and "dumps out" his negative emotions.

Because men derive their power from their objective analysis of a situation, they are naturally unaware of how delicate and vulnerable a woman's feelings are. It is equally true that women can hurt men with their rigid opinions. The big diference between men being hurt and women being hurt is that men are much less aware that they are being hurt.

Changing one's behaviour is the masculine way to reduce stress, ie, improving the situation by doing something differently. Feminine side reduces stress by changing attitudes - to improve the situation through forgiveness, love, gratitude and tolerence.What typically happens in a relationship is that a woman will tend to repeatedly compromise and adjust herself to preserve harmony and avoid confrontation. On a conscious level, she will try to change herself. After she has sacrificed or surrendered her position repeatedly, she will begin to feel resentful that he is not doing the same. Now, on a less conscious level, she will begin to try to change her partner. All communication at this point becomes somewhat manipulative and very distasteful to him. He will inevitably reject her or rebel.

Love is NOT the only ingredient for a healthy relationship. Know each other better. Avoid a break-up.Once broken, it would always reflect the scar.

Ideas shared here reflects the thoughts given by Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus series.

toad's world

in a marshy deserted land

in an old well, broken and dry.

there lived a toad, an ugly one

who croak n croak n croak!

he dances to the tunes of wind

and croak n croak n croak.

he thought he is the best of all

and croak n croak n croak

he smiles a lot, he worries not,

he thinks he is old and wise!

he talks a lot, a lot on life,

he thinks he knows it all!

One night he saw the moon and sang

croak n croak n croak

and as he sang, he saw her come

an angel dressed in white.

her smile so bright, he lost his sight

they glided through the clouds

he saw the flowers -red, pink and white

he saw the beauty unveil.

the songs were new, and splendid too

the angel sang it for him.

her hands were soft and made of love

with every touch he felt.

her eyes were deep, he couldnt read

and he thought he was old and wise!

she held his hand, his ugly hand

asked him to look into her eyes,

her deep blue eyes, in shades of love

he saw his ugly self!

a flash went by, he closed his eyes

too firgtened to face her eyes.

the wind was cold, the tune same old

he saw no angel near by!

in a marshy desserted land

in an old well, broken and dry.

there lived a toad, an ugly one

who knew how ugly he was,

he smiled again, at the beautiful moon

and croaked and croaked to death.